


if we could walk together

by esnoyuuutsu



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Nocturnality (A3!), Play Characters, Unrequited Love, i love nonomiya and i think he should suffer, reo is like barely mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26965087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esnoyuuutsu/pseuds/esnoyuuutsu
Summary: Nonomiya's fine just watching over Kota from the sidelines, an observer, a friendly coworker. It's all he'll ever be.He's fine.
Relationships: Arisugawa Homare/Takatoo Tasuku, Nonomiya/Seo Kota (A3!)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	if we could walk together

**Author's Note:**

> BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH ANOTHER ESUTE-INFLUENCED FIC, STAGE NOCT MAKES ME SO BB B BB B B BB B nonomiya........u should enjoy ur youth too u fool

The light of the moon is cold and unforgiving, only borrowed from the sun. Were it not for sunlight reflecting off its surface, the moon wouldn't be able to shine.

Nonomiya wonders what's reflected in Kota's eyes when they look at each other. It's strange how dependent humans can be on the idea of being seen. Object permanence is something that everyone learns as a child, so why does he feel as if he disappears the second that Kota takes his eyes off him?

Not that he seems to exist when their eyes do meet. Something else is always going on behind that sad violet stare, and Nonomiya knows that it's the gears of his memory grinding and turning to continue the endless film reel of the week Kota had spent with that intangible shadow of a man.

Can vampires even show up on film?

He doesn't know if he truly believes that those men were vampires. At this point, perhaps it's more believable than Nonomiya's original theory of organised crime, but the fact that a vampire could have a more stable place in their corner of the world disgusts him.

A spirit lifted out of a horror novel.

A Halloween costume roaming the streets.

A man like that, who should simply fade back into mere imagination, has more substance in Kota's mind than Nonomiya does.

The emotions rushing through the chambers of his heart run together—anger, regret, jealousy—a roiling bright red mess waiting to be spilt onto their office's dull, scuffed flooring whenever he hears Kota's empty responses.

_ Are you alright? _

_ Just what happened? _

_ What is he to you? _

Questions he doesn't know the answers to, that he doesn't always ask.

He does try. He's trying.

Nonomiya has always been more forceful in how he shows his worries—never one for quiet concern, he can't be bothered to sand off the edges before voicing his thoughts. He can't be the sun gently streaming through the trees, shining over a park on a lazy afternoon as couples walk happily hand in hand. He's more like the rain that sends people running back inside because they left their umbrellas at home, the clouds on the horizon that are a reminder that nice weather doesn't always last.

But he wants to do something,  _ anything _ , for Kota. It's because Nonomiya cares. Or because it's his chance to make an impression on the object of his affections, a simple crush of a few years that was distorted into misery in a span of several days.

It's asking too much to label what he feels as love, especially not next to the crumbling disaster Kota's left with in the wake of that man—what's the measure of three years of his nerves tying themselves into knots, forced friendly conversation, and longing glances across desks compared to a week of instant domestic life anyway?—but if Nonomiya can put a name to it, then it might be easier to get rid of. Like a disease.

He's starting to have trouble remembering what it was like not having a black hole spinning in the confines of his chest.

Sometimes he dreams that Kota can see him—a peaceful other life where they aren't the hollowed-out ghosts they've become. Every moment aches in his veins, every imagined touch turning him to ash over and over.

When Nonomiya wakes, it's as if the sun itself is mocking him.

To walk unbothered in the light of the sun—even for a human, it isn't always so easy. That’s something that those in the dead of night might not be able to understand—

Even if you’ve lived your entire life under the sun, the light still burns.

**Author's Note:**

> i gotta stop getting in the mood to write at midnight bc it means i finish at 2am but haha it keeps happening. stage winter living in my head rent free. also i can't believe i haven't posted an actual noct fic yet like ??? it's my favourite winter (says twitter and ao3 user es no yuuutsu)
> 
> as always i'm at esnoyuuutsu on twt if u want to talk to me !! (i yell a lot about winter and esute oops)


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